‘Every person who has been to IIT…’: European man notices a surprising Indian social habit after just 6 meetings in NCR

A European professional who has recently shifted to India’s National Capital Region (NCR) for work is surprised to find himself at the receiving end of a culture shock. Not of the food, traffic, weather or language variety but of the bragging variety. “Within a week it happened to me six times. People started telling me about their colleges, companies, families and social hierarchy without being asked,” he stated. It further made him think if they were trying to ascertain where he fits in the social order.


While it’s easy to jump to the conclusion that Indians are more boastful than Europeans or that bragging is worse in one culture than the other the bigger question is why does anyone care to boast in the first place?

The real culture shock is not that Indians brag but that they feel the need to get positioned first stated the European, whose words contain a kernel of truth.

In some cultures it’s considered good form to give away information about yourself since it helps people get to know you. Your education, occupation, family and social connections are all useful bits of information that allow people to understand, at a basic level, where you stand economically and socially.

India has its fair share of social indicators that people use to gauge their status. The IITs, for instance, have such a great cache of credibility due to the tough selection process, the quality of education, and the kind of jobs one can get with an IIT tag, that one’s credentials are instantly elevated if one can say one studies or has graduated from one of these institutes.


Similarly, certain occupations, companies, colleges and countries are instantly associated with a higher standing in society. However, that doesn’t mean every Indian is out to prove their superiority via back-channel information dissemination. India’s social stratification varies from region to region, class to class, generation to generation, and workplace to workplace. So, while a conversation in a corporate setup in NCR may veer towards the topic of one’s company, college or family, the same conversation in smaller towns, in different social circles and in different workplaces may be wildly varying in nature.

When people ask about our qualifications, jobs, parents or where our children study, they are doing so not to indulge in social positioning but to understand who we are and how we can relate to us. Given the importance of professional networks, family ties, and education in Indian society, knowing someone’s background can help people quickly determine their relation to us.

The difference between a boastful and a humble culture is primarily in context and intent. In Europe, it’s considered impolite to talk about one’s achievements, and people are taught to keep their status well hidden, believing that true humility is a virtue as per the Reddit thread. Thus, if a European boasts, it is in bad manners. By contrast, in cultures where social stratification exists, it is normal to talk about one’s credentials since it allows one to quickly determine how to act around you. Indians, for instance, may talk about their connections because they value professional networks. For many, a friend is a friend, and a contact is a contact, but it’s the connections that open doors.


The Reddit suggestions on the same thread were pretty forthright about the European’s comments, saying that they were not entirely accurate, that Indians are not always boastful, and that his observations may be based on the fact that he has run into the wrong set of people.

“Ignore those 6x. There are humble souls here too. Bragging is looked down upon by truly learned ones. Do what matches your ethics. The respect impact is 100x if discovered, or coming from someone else. It’s just that the population here covers the whole spectrum of personalities. That’s where your braggers are coming from.” wrote a user.

Whereas another person wrote “Every person who has been to IIT is contractually mandated to tell you they’ve studied in IIT at least twice in every conversation.”

“You’re pretty accurate, they are trying to put you in a hierarchy. Don’t really have recommendations on if you should change yourself or not. But maybe have some fun with it in the name of science/social experiment. Tell some people that you’re a descendent of a certain royal family. Or a famous scientist. Or whatever. And see if the behavior changes.” suggested another user.

Taken together, the commenters say that while there are boastful Indians, they are not representative of the population at large. The same applies to any culture and any country. There are humble Indians just as there are arrogant Europeans. There are boasters in every society, as well as shy people, introverts, talkative people, and people who value silence. There’s a great diversity in people and their personalities.


The difference between being informative and being arrogant is primarily in intent and execution. Hence, when asked what one does for a living, for instance, one can provide a short but informative response as opposed to saying they work in the technology field. Likewise, when asked where they studied, one can say they went to a prestigious university without boasting about their achievements there.

However, the bigger takeaway for Indians in the workplace is understanding that in many cultures people do not automatically share information about themselves, and that it can take them longer to get to know you since they cannot use status indicators to determine your credibility.