‘In same boat, I was also asked today’: Parents, son and wife’s career makes this 37-year-old FAANG worker rethink a US opportunity

There are some career opportunities that look perfect on paper but become surprisingly difficult when real life enters the picture. A move to the US can be one of them, especially for someone who had wanted the opportunity for years. For a young professional without major family responsibilities, the decision may look straightforward: move, earn more, experience another country and see where the career takes you. But at 37, the same decision can involve parents, a spouse's career, a school-going child, healthcare, daily life and the fear of having to start again.


That is the situation faced by a 37-year-old married FAANG employee who has been asked whether he can move to the US team. A decade ago, he wanted to move but the opportunity did not work out. Now the opportunity has arrived again, but his circumstances are completely different. He has a seven-year-old son, a father in his early 70s, a mother in her early 60s and a wife who works in finance in India.

The question is no longer simply whether the US offers a better career. Rather, the question is about whether the entire family can accept the move.

Because responsibilities tend to grow with age, this is not necessarily a bad sign. An employee in his 20s can make a job decision based mainly on the salary, learning, location and future growth. By his late 30s, a move can impact several other people at the same time. Parents may need more support, a child will have an established school going things at home and the spouse may have a career that cannot be easily paused.


That does not mean moving abroad at 37 is a bad decision. It simply means the cost of the wrong decision can feel higher. If the employee moves alone, the family has to manage separation. If they move together, the spouse may have to find another job while the child adjusts to the new education system. If they stay in India, the employee may wonder whether he has allowed an important career opportunity to pass again.

The employee's post on Reddit explains that money is actually one of the easier aspects of the decision. He is aware of the advantages of moving to the US, including higher earnings, infrastructure, air quality and exposure. That can be significant for someone working in the technology sector, as a foreign assignment can also bring international work experience and potentially open new career paths later.

But higher earnings do not automatically negate the practical difficulties of the relocation. The employee is used to India's convenience in terms of house help and healthcare. These everyday services can change dramatically after the relocation, depending on where a family lives and how much they earn. Higher earnings can offset some costs, but it cannot instantly recreate the support system a family has built over the years.


There is also the question of what happens if the move does not work. Moving countries involves deposits, housing, schools, insurance, travel and several other expenses. A family, which relocates together has more commitments than an individual employee, who can simply decide to return. The employee's fear of a layoff is therefore understandable as a career risk question, although no job market can offer complete job security.

The comments point to three different ways to approach the same problem.

One user said: "Leave. Explore at least for a few years. Then if you want you always have the option to return."

"In the same boat, I was also asked today and have to inform by the end of week," wrote another user.

"Why don't you move without your wife and kid first and see how you like it? If you do like it, you can bring them with you" suggested another user.

Moving alone first could help reduce some of the uncertainty. The employee could experience the workplace, city, commute, housing cost and everyday life before asking his wife and son to relocate. It could also give the family more time to understand whether the assignment is temporary or likely to be a longer term move.

The most important question may not be whether the employee should go to the US. It may be what the family wants the next five to ten years to look like.


If the US role delivers strong career growth, the family may eventually decide the move is worth making permanent. If the experience is disappointing, returning to India could be an option. But returning is not always as simple as booking a flight ticket. Careers, children's education, finances and family plans may change during those years.

That makes the dilemma much bigger than India versus the US. It is about whether a family should accept uncertainty in search for opportunity or protect the stability it has already built. There may not be one universally correct answer.